coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The uberlube is also flammable
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
