I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
