Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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