Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize
