so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
