so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
