That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just tell him i said nine months
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
