Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
