erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
