I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize