Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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