He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
