Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
