why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
