There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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