were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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