i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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