My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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