You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
God, I missed his penis.
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