before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
