on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize