can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
