Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
