I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
