Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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