imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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