I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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