bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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