I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i was born a porn star she said
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize