Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
high people should be assigned attendants
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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