She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize