If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
