Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
