As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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