So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
