The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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