It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
