Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize