No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
