As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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