Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
