i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
