Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
