dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
