I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
