he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
