how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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