Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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