Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
