I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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