he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
where does the pee come out of this thing
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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