saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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