Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i drank out of a bidet.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
