I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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