Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
