i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
