i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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