You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
