Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
