I'm eating all of the evidence.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
