My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
