I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
