Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
