I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
