The maid of honor just puked.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
