Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
That accounts for only three of the penises
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
