Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
