as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
