so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
