Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize