how can u be prego again
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My bed smells like the plague
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
