the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize