who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You are a genius and a whore.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize