careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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