if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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