She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
