I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
