I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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