just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize