The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
